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Postal Dude

"I regret nothing."

The Postal Dude is an unlockable character in the game. Like Serious Sam and Lo Wang, he is a guest character, but hails from the Postal video game series. Play five online matches to unlock him.

Bio Edit

Oh, God! What an awful stench! Did someone slaughtered a goat in here? No, seriously... What do I do here? It's just a terrible game made for horny teenagers. Well, it wouldn't be so terrible if I could only find some Krotchies here... There is an old kebab made of Ctulhu, Chinese clown running around with Japanese scissors. More so, first and foremost, THE Father Himself! Well, that was unexpected. Maybe He will sign my petition as 'till now only my weapon understood me. I see a potential network of my new psychotic friends. Maybe I can actually fall in love with 'em? Let's burst with piss together!

Weakness Edit

The Postal Dude is weak to phrases that relate to sinful things, such as:

  • A horny little bunny
  • Louisiana swamp-priests
  • Satan
  • The Hell's Grannies Gang
  • The Nazis
  • Your sins
  • Drunk with
  • Farted on
  • [Has/Have] a steaming romp with
  • Pissed on
  • Probably murdered
  • Will disembowel
  • Go(es) around murdering people
  • [Is/Are] sinful
  • [Is/Are] vile
  • Tell(s) dirty jokes at funerals
  • [Was/Were] burnt like a witch
  • Will be damned for eternity
  • Will murder for a seat reservation

Unique insults Edit

  • Kebab made of your mother
  • Krotchy The Giant Scrotum
  • Found a new application for a cat's butt
  • [Is/Are] feeling a little psychotic this morning
  • [Is/Are] gonna burst with piss
  • Like(s) running with scissors
  • Signed my petition
  • Pissed on
  • Will disembowel
  • Just call me Doctor Euthanasia!
  • Which seemed intuitive in design docs!

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