Nigel H.

"I'm Nigel! How'd you do?"

Nigel Hogg, stylized as Nigel H., is an unlockable character in the game. He is unlocked after completing Tournament Mode once.

Bio Edit

Nigel had problems with saying "no". He couldn't say "no" when he was offered a lifetime gym membership - and he built a perfect body. He couldn't say "no" to a modelling agency - and became famous. Nor could he refuse when they asked him to wear nothing but fancy flip-flops for an advertisement - and he became rich. And then he spent one summer at his grandma's who cooked platefuls' goodies every day. He valiantly tried to fight the greatest battle of all, but lost. You just can't say "no" to your granny.

Weakness Edit

Nigel is sensitive about his weight and appearance, and will be offended by terms such as:

  • A grunting sow
  • An English pig dog
  • Your face
  • Can't exercise because of
  • [Has/Have] an unsightly face
  • [Is/Are] an ill-nurtured whey-face
  • [Is/Are] dull and ugly
  • [Is/Are] getting fat
  • Look(s) like a sad lemur
  • Will always be alone

Unique insults Edit

  • A bucket of vomit
  • A cold pasty
  • A cold sausage without mustard
  • A half-eaten crumpet
  • A piece of battered cod
  • Fish 'n' chips
  • The thing you had for lunch
  • taste(s) like
  • Eat(s) only non-gluten lembas
  • Look(s) like a dropped scone

Trivia Edit

  • Nigel is the only character with no unique endings.
    • To make up for this he by far has the most nouns of any character.
  • He has a different body type from most characters, excluding Father.
  • Most of Nigel's unique insults are built around food.