This is a list of all words in Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator, sorted by word category. Characters who are weak to the phrases below are placed in square brackets [ ]. Character specific phrases will be marked with a * along with the name of that character. Stage specific phrases will also be marked with a * along with the stage they are in.
Nouns
- a bucket of vomit *Nigel H.
- a cheap suit [Shufflebottom, Albert]
- a cheese shop
- a cider-drinking chav * Shufflebottom
- a cold pasty *Nigel H.
- a cold sausage without mustard * Nigel
- a cream-faced loon * Sir Knight
- a dead parrot * Pet Shop
- a demon's asshole * Lo Wang
- a duck hunter * By the Lake
- a frightened schoolboy [Lo Wang]
- a grunting sow [Nigel H.]
- a half-eaten crumpet * Nigel H.
- a hamster
- a horny little bunny [ postal dude] * Lo Wang
- a lazy old codger * Shufflebttom
- a lumberjack
- a muppet
- a piece of battered cod * Nigel H.
- a platypus
- a public loo
- a red-arsed baboon
- a ruttish fishmonger * Sir Knight
- a strange woman lying in a pond
- all of those animals *pet shop
- an alien hamburger * Serious Sam
- an English pig dog [Nigel H.]
- angry mob
- an ordinary pigsty [H. P. Lovecraft]
- Dagon * hp lovecraft
- defenseless young men [Lo Wang] *Mrs Maggie
- elderberries
- fish 'n' chips * Nigel H.
- homeless man's socks [Shufflebottom, Albert]
- kebab made of your mother * Postal Dude
- Krotchy The Giant Scrotum * Postal Dude
- Louisiana swamp-priests * H. P. Lovecraft [postal dude)
- Satan [Postal Dude]
- some bloody minger
- some dirty rag
- some dog
- someone insane
- spam
- Stalin's jockstrap [Grisha]
- that Thing on your doorstep * H. P. Lovecraft
- the African swallow
- the afterlife only in afterlife
- the communists [Grisha, Serious Sam]
- the Cozzers * Albert
- the Deep Ones * H. P. Lovecraft
- the Hell's Grannies gang [Postal Dude] * Mrs. Maggie
- the Meaning of Life [H. P. Lovecraft, Serious Sam] * The Afterlife
- the Nazis [ Serious Sam]
- the Queen [Serious Sam]
- the Royal Family [Serious Sam]
- the thing you had for lunch [H. P. Lovecraft] * Nigel H.
- this bloody pet shop *pet shop
- this conversation [H. P. Lovecraft]
- this lake * By the Lake
- this liver * ER
- this parrot * Pet Shop
- this place
- this poor man * By the Lake
- this train * Train Compartmemt
- vodka * Grisha
- you
- your beloved auntie [Father]
- your country [Grisha]
- your cousin's car
- your face [Nigel H.]
- your father [Father]
- your favourite Bond actor
- your hat [Shufflebottom]
- your house [Albert]
- your hovercraft
- your husband [Father]
- your Kettle * Albert
- your liver * ER
- your math teacher
- your mother [Father]
- your pimply arse [H. P. Lovecraft] * Albert
- your seat only in train compartment
- your sense of style [Shufflrebottom]
- your sister [Father]
- your sins [Postal Dude] * The Afterlife
- your son [Father]
- your wife [Father]
Verbs
- [is/are]
- [is/are] afraid of my minigun [Lo Wang] * Serious Sam
- [is/are] an ill-nurtured whey face [ lo wang] * sir knight
- [is/are] an old bugger [ ms maggiee]
- [is/are] an organ in your abdomen [ lovecraft] only in er
- [is/are] deceased [ ms maggie] (sam)
- [is/are] dull and ugly [ nigel]
- [is/are] feeling a little psychotic this morning * postal dude [lo wang]
- [is/are] full of eels
- [is/are] getting fat [ nigel]
- [is/are] gonna burst with piss * postal dude
- [is/are] interested in photography
- [is/are] minging * shufflebottom
- [is/are] no more [ maggie]
- [is/are] not a part of Europe [ grisha]
- [is/are] not interesting [ lovecraft
- [is/are] not migratory
- [is/are] not my creation * father
- [is/are] not Serious * sam
- [is/are] old [ maggie]
- [is/are] racist [ lovecraft] ( sam) * albert
- [is/are] rather plain
- [is/are] rude
- [is/are] scratched
- [is/are] silly
- [is/are] sinful [ postal dude] * father
- [is/are] stone dead [maggie]
- [is/are] very naughty
- [is/are] vile
- [is/are] where you can sit only in train compartment
- [is/are] worthless[ albert] lo wang]
- [was/were] born in (grisha)
- [was/were] burnt like a witch [ postal dude]
- [was/were] defeated by [ lo wang]
- [was/were] in jail
- [was/were] owned by [ lo wang] * sam
- [was/were] teabagged by [ lo wang] * sam
- [has/have] a steaming romp with [ postal dude]
- [has/have] an unsightly face [ nigel]
- [has/have] bad breath [ lovecraft]
- [has/have] bum cancer [ lovecraft]
- [has/have] no life experience [ lo wang] *Maggie
- [has/have] not finished puberty [ lovecraft] * maggie
- [has/have] not so much brain as ear wax * sir knight
- [has/have] only local multiplayer[ sir knight]
- [has/have] tiny feet
- [has/have] worse hair than [ shufflebottom]
- act(s) like
- admire(s) pictures of
- ate Yul Brynner with * albert
- belong(s) in one of those cages * pet shop
- bother(s) me
- bring(s) insults to a sword fight
- can be found in Pokémon GO [ sir knight]
- can lick my lead * sam
- cannot buy a Stairway to Heaven * father ( albert)
- can't dance
- can't exercise because of [ nigel]
- can't hold liquor * grisha {love craft)
- can't tie a tie [ shufflebottom]
- change(s) into
- dance(s) like
- died because of only in afterlife
- do(es)n't like
- do(es)n't own a colour telly [ sir knight] albert]
- donated organs for only in er
- drunk with * grisha
- eat(s) only non-gluten lembas * nigel
- enjoyed Batman v Superman [ sir knight]
- fart(s) in your general direction
- farted on
- found a new application for a cat's butt * postal dude
- give(s) a butcher's hook at * albert
- go(es) around murdering people only in lake
- had too much of Fungi from Yuggoth * lovecraft
- hide(s) in this shrubbery only in lake
- like(s) running with scissors * Postal dude
- like(s) to flash in the park
- look(s) like
- look(s) like a sad lemur [ nigel]
- made a poor deal with [ albert] * Albert
- make(s) fun of the Pope [ sam]
- make(s) me sick
- move(s) like a pregnant yak * Lo wang
- must be fun at parties
- need(s) a liver transplant [ sam] only in er
- never heard the Call of Cthulhu * lovecraft
- never partied in Moscow [ grisha] * grisha
- never watched Star Wars [sir knight]
- pissed on [ postal dude] * postal dude
- play(s) hidden object games [ sir knight]
- pre-ordered No Man's Sky [ sir knight???????]
- probably murdered {postal dude] only in lake
- poses nude for
- put(s) on granny's clothing [ shufflebottom]
- read(s) Necronomicon with * lovecraft
- secretly adore(s)
- send(s) you warmest pots and dishes * Albert
- signed my petition * postal dude ( lovecraft)
- sit(s) next to
- smell(s) of
- stalked
- still use(s) Windows Vista [ sir knight]
- suck(s) at Overwatch [ sir knight] [ lo wang]
- support(s)
- swallowed a chewing gum
- talk(s) to strangers
- taste(s) like
- tell(s) dirty jokes at funerals [ maggie] [ sam] ( postal dude)
- used to steal from orphans * * albert
- vomit(s) after drinking vodka * grisha
- walk(s) silly
- want(s) some Wang * lo wang
- wanted to be
- wear(s) second-hand clothes [ shufflebottom albert]
- went to the Mountain of Madness with * lovecraft
- will always be alone [ nigel love craft]
- will be chopped to bits [ lo wang] * lo wang
- will be damned for eternity [ postal dude]
- will disembowel [ postal dude] * postal dude
- will murder for a seat reservation only in train
- will reincarnate as a pigeon only in afterlife
- will soon kick the bucket [ maggie]
- worked with
Endings
- [mate!/honey!] *everyone, yes even nigel
- [mister!/ma'am!] * everyone yes even nigel
- [sir!/lady!] *everyone yes even nigel
- and everybody knows that! * everyone yes even nigel
- and I damn you! * father
- and I don't love you! * Father
- and I have proof! * Everyone yes even nigel
- and I'm Serious! * sam
- and it's scientifically proven! * everyuone yes even nigel
- and now let me finish the rites! * lovecraft
- and piss off! * every one yes even nigel
- and stop being a berk! * albert
- and that's a load of bollocks! * albert
- and that's racist! * albert ( lovecraft and sam)
- and the Dead One still dreams in R'lyeh! * lovecraft
- and you can't deny it! *everyone yes even nigel
- and you know it's true! * everyone yes even nigel
- because I don't exist! [ lovecraft] ??? * father
- because you are a spoiled brat! * maggie
- cockwomble! * shufflebottom
- I bet! * everyone yes even nigel
- innit?! * albert
- и я знаю, что ты шпион! (i ya znayu, chto ty shpion!) [and I know you're a spy!] * grisha
- just call me Doctor Euthanasia! [ maggie] * postal dude
- like a minging peasant! [ albert] * everyone even nigel
- now put a sock in it! * sam
- nudge nudge! * everyone
- oh God, who writes this stuff?! * sam
- or is it about the way I talk?! * albert
- pardon my French! * every
- says the fortune cookie! * lo wang
- so go back to your seat! * train compartmennt only every charater
- so, you know, well, innit, eh?! * maggie
- товарищ! (tovarishch!) [friend!] [comrade!] * grisha no pugodi
- which is an ancient Chinese secret * lo wang
- which makes me stiff! * lo wang
- which might cause death! every nigga
- which seemed intuitive in design docs! * postal dude
- which will make you die or go insane! * lovecraft
- yeah baby! * sam
- you [son/daughter] of a washerwoman! everyone
- you cheeky bastard! * shufflebottom
- you cheeky bint! * shufflebottom
- you commoner! [ albert] [grisha] * everyy
- you cross-eyed, inbred muckspout! * sir knight
- you dickbag! * lo wang
- you ginger! [ grisha] * albert
- you inbred twit! * every1
- you lying git! every
- you numpty! * shufflebottom
- you pillock! * shufflebotttom
- you pitiful mortal! [ lovecraft] * father
- you posh fopdoodle! * shufflebottom
- you tottering fool-born hedge-pig! * sir knight
- young man! * maggie