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This is a list of all words in Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator, sorted by word category. Characters who are weak to the phrases below are placed in square brackets [ ]. Character specific phrases will be marked with a * along with the name of that character. Stage specific phrases will also be marked with a * along with the stage they are in.

Nouns Edit

  • a bucket of vomit *Nigel H.
  • a cheap suit [Shufflebottom, Albert]
  • a cheese shop
  • a cider-drinking chav * Shufflebottom
  • a cold pasty *Nigel H.
  • a cold sausage without mustard * Nigel H.
  • a cream-faced loon * Sir Knight
  • a dead parrot * Pet Shop
  • a demon's asshole * Lo Wang
  • a duck hunter * By the Lake
  • a frightened schoolboy [Lo Wang]
  • a grunting sow [Nigel H.]
  • a half-eaten crumpet * Nigel H.
  • a hamster
  • a horny little bunny [ postal dude] * Lo Wang
  • a lazy old codger * Shufflebttom
  • a lumberjack
  • a muppet
  • a piece of battered cod * Nigel H.
  • a platypus
  • a public loo
  • a red-arsed baboon
  • a ruttish fishmonger * Sir Knight
  • a strange woman lying in a pond
  • all of those animals *Pet Shop
  • an alien hamburger * Serious Sam
  • an English pig dog [Nigel H.]
  • angry mob
  • an ordinary pigsty [H. P. Lovecraft]
  • Dagon * hp lovecraft
  • defenseless young men [Lo Wang] *Mrs Maggie
  • elderberries
  • fish 'n' chips * Nigel H.
  • homeless man's socks [Shufflebottom, Albert]
  • kebab made of your mother * Postal Dude
  • Krotchy The Giant Scrotum * Postal Dude
  • Louisiana swamp-priests * H. P. Lovecraft [postal dude)
  • Satan [Postal Dude]
  • some bloody minger
  • some dirty rag
  • some dog
  • someone insane
  • spam
  • Stalin's jockstrap [Grisha]
  • that Thing on your doorstep * H. P. Lovecraft
  • the African swallow
  • the afterlife only in afterlife
  • the communists [Grisha, Serious Sam]
  • the Cozzers * Albert
  • the Deep Ones * H. P. Lovecraft
  • the Hell's Grannies gang [Postal Dude] * Mrs. Maggie
  • the Meaning of Life [H. P. Lovecraft, Serious Sam] * The Afterlife
  • the Nazis [Serious Sam]
  • the Queen [Serious Sam]
  • the Royal Family [Serious Sam]
  • the thing you had for lunch [H. P. Lovecraft] * Nigel H.
  • this bloody pet shop *Pet Shop
  • this conversation [H. P. Lovecraft]
  • this lake * By the Lake
  • this liver * ER
  • this parrot * Pet Shop
  • this place
  • this poor man * By the Lake
  • this train * Train Compartmemt
  • vodka * Grisha
  • you
  • your beloved auntie [Father]
  • your country [Grisha]
  • your cousin's car
  • your face [Nigel H.]
  • your father [Father]
  • your favourite Bond actor
  • your hat [Shufflebottom]
  • your house [Albert]
  • your hovercraft
  • your husband [Father]
  • your Kettle * Albert
  • your liver * ER
  • your math teacher
  • your mother [Father]
  • your pimply arse [H. P. Lovecraft] * Albert
  • your seat only in train compartment
  • your sense of style [Shufflrebottom]
  • your sister [Father]
  • your sins [Postal Dude] * The Afterlife
  • your son [Father]
  • your wife [Father]

Verbs Edit

  • [is/are]
  • [is/are] afraid of my minigun [Lo Wang] *Serious Sam
  • [is/are] an ill-nurtured whey face [Lo Wang] [Nigel H.] *Sir Knight
  • [is/are] an old bugger [Mrs Maggie]
  • [is/are] an organ in your abdomen [H.P. Lovecraft] *ER
  • [is/are] deceased [Mrs Maggie] (Serious Sam)
  • [is/are] dull and ugly [Nigel H.]
  • [is/are] feeling a little psychotic this morning [Lo Wang] *Postal Dude
  • [is/are] full of eels
  • [is/are] getting fat [Nigel H.]
  • [is/are] gonna burst with piss *Postal Dude
  • [is/are] interested in photography
  • [is/are] minging *Shufflebottom
  • [is/are] no more [Mrs Maggie]
  • [is/are] not a part of Europe [Grisha]
  • [is/are] not interesting [H.P. Lovecraft]
  • [is/are] not migratory
  • [is/are] not my creation *Father
  • [is/are] not Serious *Serious Sam
  • [is/are] old [Mrs Maggie]
  • [is/are] racist [H.P. Lovecraft] (Serious Sam) *Albert
  • [is/are] rather plain
  • [is/are] rude
  • [is/are] scratched
  • [is/are] silly
  • [is/are] sinful [Postal Dude] *Father
  • [is/are] stone dead [Mrs Maggie]
  • [is/are] very naughty
  • [is/are] vile
  • [is/are] where you can sit only in train compartment
  • [is/are] worthless [Albert, Lo Wang]
  • [was/were] born in (Grisha)
  • [was/were] burnt like a witch [Postal Dude]
  • [was/were] defeated by [Lo Wang]
  • [was/were] in jail
  • [was/were] owned by [Lo Wang] *Serious Sam
  • [was/were] teabagged by [Lo Wang] *Serious Sam
  • [has/have] a steaming romp with [Postal Dude]
  • [has/have] an unsightly face [Nigel H.]
  • [has/have] bad breath [H.P. Lovecraft]
  • [has/have] bum cancer [H.P. Lovecraft]
  • [has/have] no life experience [Lo Wang] *Mrs Maggie
  • [has/have] not finished puberty [H.P. Lovecraft] *Mrs Maggie
  • [has/have] not so much brain as ear wax *Sir Knight
  • [has/have] only local multiplayer [Sir Knight]
  • [has/have] tiny feet
  • [has/have] worse hair than [Shufflebottom]
  • act(s) like
  • admire(s) pictures of
  • ate Yul Brynner with *Albert
  • belong(s) in one of those cages *Pet Shop
  • bother(s) me
  • bring(s) insults to a sword fight
  • can be found in Pokémon GO [Sir Knight]
  • can lick my lead *Serious Sam
  • can not buy a Stairway to Heaven *Father (Albert)
  • can't dance
  • can't exercise because of [Nigel H.]
  • can't hold liquor *Grisha (H.P. Lovecraft)
  • can't tie a tie [Shufflebottom]
  • change(s) into
  • dance(s) like
  • died because of *The Afterlife
  • do(es)n't like
  • do(es)n't own a colour telly [Sir Knight, Albert]
  • donated organs for *ER
  • drunk with *Grisha
  • eat(s) only non-gluten lembas *Nigel H.
  • enjoyed Batman v Superman [Sir Knight]
  • fart(s) in your general direction
  • farted on
  • found a new application for a cat's butt *Postal Dude
  • give(s) a butcher's hook at *Albert
  • go(es) around murdering people *By the Lake
  • had too much of Fungi from Yuggoth *H.P. Lovecraft
  • hide(s) in this shrubbery *By the Lake
  • like(s) running with scissors *Postal Dude
  • like(s) to flash in the park
  • look(s) like
  • look(s) like a sad lemur [Nigel H.]
  • made a poor deal with [Albert] *Albert
  • make(s) fun of the Pope [Serious Sam]
  • make(s) me sick
  • move(s) like a pregnant yak *Lo Wang
  • must be fun at parties
  • need(s) a liver transplant [Serious Sam] *ER
  • never heard the Call of Cthulhu *H.P. Lovecraft
  • never partied in Moscow [Grisha] *Grisha
  • never watched Star Wars [Sir Knight]
  • pissed on [Postal Dude] *Postal Dude
  • play(s) hidden object games [Sir Knight]
  • pre-ordered No Man's Sky [Sir Knight]
  • probably murdered [Postal Dude] *By the Lake
  • poses nude for
  • put(s) on granny's clothing [Shufflebottom]
  • read(s) Necronomicon with *H.P. Lovecraft
  • secretly adore(s)
  • send(s) you warmest pots and dishes *Albert
  • signed my petition *Postal Dude (H.P Lovecraft)
  • sit(s) next to
  • smell(s) of
  • stalked
  • still use(s) Windows Vista [Sir Knight]
  • suck(s) at Overwatch [Sir Knight, Lo Wang]
  • support(s)
  • swallowed a chewing gum
  • talk(s) to strangers
  • taste(s) like
  • tell(s) dirty jokes at funerals [Mrs Maggie, Serious Sam] *Postal Dude
  • used to steal from orphans *Albert
  • vomit(s) after drinking vodka *Grisha
  • walk(s) silly
  • want(s) some Wang *Lo Wang
  • wanted to be
  • wear(s) second-hand clothes [Shufflebottom, Albert]
  • went to the Mountain of Madness with *H.P. Lovecraft
  • will always be alone [Nigel H., H.P. Lovecraft]
  • will be chopped to bits [Lo Wang] *Lo Wang
  • will be damned for eternity [Postal Dude] *Father
  • will disembowel [Postal Dude] *Postal Dude
  • will murder for a seat reservation *Train Compartment
  • will reincarnate as a pigeon only in afterlife
  • will soon kick the bucket [Mrsaggie]
  • worked with

Endings Edit

  • mate/honey! *Everyone
  • mister/ma'am! * Everyone
  • sir/lady! *Everyone
  • and everybody knows that! * Everyone
  • and I damn you! *Father
  • and I don't love you! * Father
  • and I have proof! * Everyone
  • and I'm Serious! * Sam
  • and it's scientifically proven! *Everyone
  • and now let me finish the rites! *Lovecraft
  • and piss off! *Everyone
  • and stop being a berk! *Albert
  • and that's a load of bollocks! *Albert
  • and that's racist! *Albert [Lovecraft and Sam]
  • and the Dead One still dreams in R'lyeh! * Lovecraft
  • and you can't deny it! *Everyone
  • and you know it's true! *Everyone
  • because I don't exist! [Lovecraft] ??? *Father
  • because you are a spoiled brat! *Maggie
  • cockwomble! *Shufflebottom
  • I bet! *Everyone
  • innit?! *Albert
  • и я знаю, что ты шпион! (i ya znayu, chto ty shpion! ; and I know you're a spy!) * Grisha
  • just call me Doctor Euthanasia! [Maggie] *Postal dude
  • like a minging peasant! [ albert] *Everyone
  • now put a sock in it! *Sam
  • nudge nudge! * Everyone
  • oh God, who writes this stuff?! *Sam
  • or is it about the way I talk?! *Albert
  • pardon my French! *Everyone
  • says the fortune cookie! *Lo Wang
  • so go back to your seat! * train compartment only
  • so, you know, well, innit, eh?! *Maggie
  • товарищ! (tovarishch!) [friend!] [comrade!] *Grisha
  • which is an ancient Chinese secret * Lo Wang
  • which makes me stiff! * Lo Wang
  • which might cause death! *Everyone
  • which seemed intuitive in design docs! *Postal dude
  • which will make you die or go insane! *Lovecraft
  • yeah baby! *Sam
  • you [son/daughter] of a washerwoman! *Everyone
  • you cheeky bastard! *Shufflebottom
  • you cheeky bint! *Shufflebottom
  • you commoner! [Albert and Grisha] *Everyone
  • you cross-eyed, inbred muckspout! * sir knight
  • you dickbag! * Lo Wang
  • you ginger! [Grisha] * Albert
  • you inbred twit! *Everyone
  • you lying git! *Everyone
  • you numpty! *Shufflebottom
  • you pillock! *Shufflebotttom
  • you pitiful mortal! [Lovecraft] *Father
  • you posh fopdoodle! *Shufflebottom [Albert]
  • you tottering fool-born hedge-pig! *Sir Knight
  • young man! *Maggie

The next person to write here, please be polite (do not use "every nigga" or the like) and use proper captioning and pronunciation (do not write "every1").